April Fool!


We can neither confirm nor deny that the following essay fell out of a fifth-grader’s notebook.

Presidents Pierce, Buchanan, and Garfield were all log cabin Presidents, but Lincoln is the greatest because he was born in a log cabin he built with his own hands.

Lincoln was a lawyer who never told a lie.  He told jokes instead and got the jury laughing.

Lincoln wore a top hat so people would recognize him after he grew a beard.  Nowadays we are used to seeing him without a hat, but when his picture first appeared on the five dollar bill, people said: “Who’s that?”

Lincoln and his 1860 opponent Stephen Douglas were both from Illinois.  They both courted the same woman, Mary Todd, but she chose Republican Lincoln because she didn’t want to be a Democrat First Lady and then run for President herself.

Lincoln never got to see the end…

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Happy Birthday Sandra Day O’Connor!

Retired Justice Sandra Day O’Connor celebrates her 85th birthday today.  She’s most notably known for being the first woman appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court.  But we’ve learned1 of another accomplishment: she is the first2 Justice to dated another Justice.  While in law school she and William Rehnquist had a short relationship.

1. From a pair of bobby socks she wore while at Stanford Law
2. That we know of. Justices Alito and Scalia’s socks response was “no comment.”

Something In My Shoe Today



There’s something poking my foot today
It’s been bugging me all day long.
Not big enough to cause dismay,
Just enough to feel it’s wrong.

I have on shoes I seldom wear
Cause I’m dressed up for a meeting.
Lucky for me they are easy care
And slip off with no one seeing.

I rub my foot on my other shoe
In hopes this stops the jabbing.
Next I twist the shoe for a quick review,
To end the persistent stabbing.

Alas there’s trouble with my sock today
Cause there was nothing in the shoe.
I pull and twist my leg in lithe ballet
Seeking a better view.

Drat, it must be in my sock today
Deep inside the cotton fleecing.
I plot my move to slip away
To turn it inside out for shaking.

I’m feeling so much better now
The irksome itch has departed.
For when I shook…

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