April Fool!


We can neither confirm nor deny that the following essay fell out of a fifth-grader’s notebook.

Presidents Pierce, Buchanan, and Garfield were all log cabin Presidents, but Lincoln is the greatest because he was born in a log cabin he built with his own hands.

Lincoln was a lawyer who never told a lie.  He told jokes instead and got the jury laughing.

Lincoln wore a top hat so people would recognize him after he grew a beard.  Nowadays we are used to seeing him without a hat, but when his picture first appeared on the five dollar bill, people said: “Who’s that?”

Lincoln and his 1860 opponent Stephen Douglas were both from Illinois.  They both courted the same woman, Mary Todd, but she chose Republican Lincoln because she didn’t want to be a Democrat First Lady and then run for President herself.

Lincoln never got to see the end…

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